Kicking for my supper

Is darts a sport? Can a middle age man carrying a bit of weight like say Darren Clarke, really be classed as an elite athlete? When does a baseball "slugger" like Prince Fielder become too "big" to play the game? For some reason we, as sports fans, are fascinated by players who don't break sweat in the course of playing their sport. Why then does the American Football kicker not come in for more scrutiny? Essentially these guys come on for less then 20 seconds at a time, leather the ball as hard as they can and stroll back to the bench. Short of ordering a hot dog and a Bud Light, these guys are mere spectators to the real event. Except their efficiency is often critical. In the NFL, the field goal kicker often comes off the bench with 2 seconds to go where the success of their kick determines who wins the match. Recently the Dallas Cowboys kicker missed a kick with one second remaining against the New York Giants. Fast forward a month and its the Giants, not the Cowboys, who've reached the playoffs. A friend, who has played as a goal-keeper at Inter-county level, summed it up perfectly by saying "that sounds just perfect for me. Sit on my arse for two hours before coming on for two seconds, kicking the winning points and being made a hero". In a nutshell he is right. Thus an attention seeker like myself was naturally drawn to this position - where the chance to win hero status is very often only 45 yards away.

 

Undeterred by my lack of skill, knowledge or otherwise physical incompatibility I confidently assured the head coach of the minor league, New Jersey Spartans, that I could punt the ball 60 yards. The reaction of Coach Moss makes me think that I may have massively over stated my capabilities because next thing I know I'm being asked to try-outs. Here was my logic; at another time I'd convinced myself I could play Aussie Rules. So after similarily bullshitting my way onto the University Blacks Third Team I actually played half the regular season and a couple of post season games. At training I was able - abetted by a strong breeze - to punt the ball 45 yards. Using this as a standerd bear, I decided that with a lighter ball I could manage 55. Accounting for the adage to never let the truth get in the way of a good story I went for 60 yards. On a brisk morning in early December we were about to find out just how economical with the truth I'd been.

In Amercian Football there are two kicking positions, punter and kicker. The punter returns the ball on a 4th down when the team is too far away to attempt a field goal. His job is essentially to langer the ball as far down field as he can so that the opposing team don't get the ball anywhere near your goal. The kicker comes in when your team are in a position to kick a field goal (3 points) or to take the conversions after a touchdown (1 point). At NFL level these two roles are divided between two players but with the Spartans the same player is required to do both. About 30 players had arrived to try out for the team (I'll get into the structure of the team at another time). The battery of tests of simple, a 40 yard dash, an agility drill and then onto position specific drills before looking at our mental toughness. Essentially Coach Moss didn't care about my 40 time or whether I'd the turning circle of a bus. All he wanted to see was my boot. 

The trial began with punting. Initially I used the Australian Rules drop-punt, essentially kicking opposite the lacing before moving onto the American football style where you hold the ball flat out in front of you and kick the belly. This makes the ball go much higher and further although you massively concede on control and direction. Despite my boast of 60 yards, I could kick it 50 yards, which was respectable but in the words of Head Coach Moss "fairly unimpressive". Next we went to kicking field goals, a technique at which I've no experience (this is when you kick it off the ground a la a rugby out-half). I've never had the bottle to play rugby and anybody who's seen me attempt a '45 in GAA will testify that I can get no length in my kicks. However I can nail corner kicks with a lighter soccer ball so I think I strike a ball quite cleanly.

After successful attempts at the 10, 20 and 30 yard line they lined me up at the 35 (in a strange scenario that essentially sums up the quirks of American Football , this equates to a 42 yard field goal). When I pinged that over, a crowd started to gather. I'd seen this range be missed by NFL players so figured I was doing something right.. 40 yards was slightly out of my range for now but I'd done enough to justify a spot on the 2012 roster. Throughout the season I'll blog on my experiences - both cultural and sporting - and try and give you an insight into what sort of commitment it takes. Now where is the hotdog stand and can somebody please give me a light?!

Massive thanks to Tom Mellaci for putting the videos together!

You can follow Seamus on twitter @fbspecial